DAY 113, BLASPHEMY

I've been gone for 16 weeks. In some ways that seems like a long time, in some ways it doesn't. I was just beginning to cope with it - especially now that it's April and baseball starts next week! I'm pumped, or so I thought until I found this picture waiting in my inbox this morning:



Nephew Matt, on a recent visit to my house in SoCal, must have thought my kids needed more of a "brauts and beer" influence in their lives. Of all the things I was worried about when I knew I was leaving my children for 6 months, I had not even considered that they would start wearing Brewers gear.

It was bad enough that AJ broke his hand (see PINK cast in picture). He was tagging a kid in the infield during a game. Ironically, the kid that broke it was on our team last season. I remember teaching him to run hard into a tag because the ball might come out. Well, he listened well. AJ's season is over (with the possibility of returning for the play-offs).

He did play for a week with a broken hand before the trip to the doctor. He pitched, caught and even hit one that one-hopped the fence in deep left field (not bad for a 10-year old). I would like to have seen that hit with two good hands! Now, if I can just get him and his sisters to lose the Brewers logos before I get home, we'll all be okay . . .

66 day to go.

DAY 107, WAR CRIMES

Let me explain. Our thin mints turned up missing this morning and Girl Scout Cookies are like Crack over here. The only personnel in the building overnight were the stuffed animals. None would talk (except Daffy, but we couldn't understand him with that lisp).

So I had them line-up and ordered the Captain to make them give it up. It was obvious to me that Fat Bear ate them, but Li'l Pink has been an issue in the past, so you never know. The Penguin got happy feet, so he took the first round. We let Blue Boy off because he is just so damn cute.

See what happens when you separate people from their families for 6 months or more . . .

72 days to go.

DAY 100, TRUE MARCH MADNESS

I'm bummed. Every year I get really excited about the college basketball post season tournament. Some of my fondest memories involve the tournament. Ever since I can remember, I've ditched school or work to watch the first round games on Thursday/Friday. I ditched high school classes and classes at the Academy (which I had to march tours for). I then transitioned to 3-4 hour lunches from work over the years.

One year as an adolescent, I put the entire 64 team bracket on my bedroom wall in permanent black ink. It was the real deal: 8 feet wide by 4 feet tall. I kept my door closed all day long to avoid detection (I wonder what mom/dad thought I was doing in there all day?). My dad didn't discover my art work until round 4. By then, 3 of my final four teams had been eliminated so I was pissed, but not as pissed as he was!

The first coat of paint barely took the edge off the ink - it bled right through. Shit. It took 2 more coats to cover the bracket. It was not a happy time, but so worth it. This year, I converted one of our white boards at work into bracket central. I guess I learned my lesson -- it's easily erased.

But here's why I'm bummed. I'm stuck in Baghdad with first tip about 5 hours away. That's 10 PM here. I WON'T GET TO DITCH WORK. How cruel is that? I work 12-14 hours per day and the tournament still occurs after work hours. Even worse, if I want to watch the games, I have to stay up all night. For the first time I can remember in my entire life, I won't be skipping anything (other than sleep) to watch the first round games.

Regardless, I have Louisville over PITT in the Championship game (after beating UCONN and Oklahoma in the Final 4). Doesn't matter - the championship game will tip at 3 AM.

This whole deployment thing sucks.

79 days to go.

DAY 98, ST PAT'S DAY THOUGHTS

We're not allowed alcohol, so would someone please have a pint of Guinness for me today in honor of St Pat's Day. . .

I've gotten many words of encouragement from friends and family about the New Mexico move - thanks. Running Buddy Craig pointed out some of the cool runs held in the New Mexico mountains. One such run, the Jemez Mountain 50 Mile Run, has an advertised start line at the "North Mesa Posse Shack." That phrase alone makes me want to live in New Mexico. Here's what one of the aid stations looks like at the race:

Brother Jim sent me this cool picture from one of his back packing trips in the four corners area. I can't wait to see it for myself.

Tiffany has been living on realtor.com. Looks like we'll be able to swing a nice place, but not our dream house. Again, we'll just have to deal with it. The Air Force has been good to me over the years, so I shouldn't complain.

Anyway, there's definitely light at the end of the tunnel I'm in. My replacement has been identified and is due here the last week in May. I can't describe what a relief it is to have a real name singled out. That makes my end date much more real.

I won't miss much, but I will miss kicking butt at Euchre. (Hard to see the bracket in this picture, but my partner and I won the office tournament - a grueling 3 hour event in which there were copious amounts of bottled water guzzled):

I'll also miss having good running partners. Four of us did a marathon 2 days ago. We ran together almost the whole way. Good guys, small race (we took 7th, 8th, 10th and 11th), but really dusty air:

81 days to go.

DAY 97, NEW PLACE TO LIVE

The Air Force Personnel Center decided my fate this week. They gave away the two jobs in Colorado Springs to other people. There were 21 jobs open in Dayton (my 5th choice). That's where we would have ended up, but there was a job open at my 4th choice . . . ALBUQUERQUE.

I was kinda' surprised. Tiffany said something that rhymed with "truck." We've had a few days to let it sink in. We told the kids this morning (with me on the web cam). Hannah and AJ really didn't care. Taylor seems a little disappointed.

We'll just have to make the best of it. I should be happy to have a job, let alone a job in which I'm 5 years away from collecting retirement (I hope). The bottom line for ABQ is the sun shines all the time, the cost of living is low, we're close to Colorado, the mountains and we're close enough to San Diego to visit once or twice a year.

Had we ended up in Ohio, we would have been stuck with crappy weather and we would have rarely visited Colorado or San Diego. I guess that's why we had ABQ #4 and DAY #5.

My job will be at the Air Force Research Laboratory - most likely working on new satellite technology. The job seems interesting. The best part of a research lab job is if your program fails, no one thought it would work anyway. If your program succeeds, you're responsible for new cutting edge technology.

My brother has lived in ABQ for ~20 years and all three of his boys grew up there, so we have some good intel on where to live and what schools to be near. We'll be moving the first week in August. Kids' school starts on 17 Aug.

Now, if I could just get the hell out of here, we'll be alright.

82 days to go.

DAY 91, BROMANCE

If you happen to read the few comments attached to these blog entries, you'll see that Nephew Noah has accused me of starting a "bromance" with my boss, the Army Colonel. Initially, I was offended and defensive in the stereotypical manly manner. I felt compelled to fall back on the golden rule of relationships: "admit nothing, deny everything, and make counter-accusations." Alas, poor Nephew Noah has enough going on that he doesn't need accusations from his favorite Uncle.

So, I went back to review previous entries. I have to admit, I do mention the good Colonel quite often - more often than I realized. That led me to begin asking why. Is it a jailhouse mentality and my wife is 7,000 miles away? Is it the fact that we have a few things in common? I think it's because he's the first person in my chain-of-command who has the power to send me home anytime he wants. Hey, who better to schmooze, right? Have you ever been stuck in Iraq?

In my defense, the dude runs all the time and encourages me to run (as if I needed it). Keep in mind, my running habit has created friction with almost every boss I've ever had in the past. This is the first time I've felt guilt free running during work hours, which happens to be totally messed up. I mean, look at the countless studies that link exercise with long, healthy lives. You would think EVERY boss would encourage their employees to exercise.

The dude also lets me hit golf balls into the lake (see picture - that's my "bro"). In exchange, I make sure he's properly prepared to brief the Army 4-star every week. That means hours and hours of PowerPoint chart building and report writing, but what the hell else am I going to do in between runs? He gets what he wants, I get what I want.

On top of all that, he and I are flying down to Tallil, Iraq in 5 weeks to do the Boston Marathon in Iraq. It's a cool deal. The Boston Athletic Association is waving the qualifying standards for anyone who can be in Tallil on race day. Everyone is treated as if they're doing the actual Boston Marathon. The best part is all finishers in Tallil get automatic entry into the 2010 race IN BOSTON! It's a race I've wanted to do for years, but have never been fast enough to qualify nor hooked-up enough to secure an entry. Guess I just needed to go to Iraq to run in Boston - who knew?

So, in the end, is it really a bromance if we're just using each other to get what we want?

88 days to go.

DAY 90, HALFWAY!

That's right -- I'm over the hump. It's all downhill from here. I marked this momentous day by surviving another sandstorm. Here are some pictures . . .

This is Al Faw Palace - the location of the Army HQ in Iraq. My office is near the shore of this lake.

This is how it looked today in a sandstorm. At midday, everything was orange - like being in a weird sci-fi movie. You could feel the dirt sticking to the inside of your nose with every inhale. Nasty, nasty stuff.

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The other way I celebrated being halfway was by sending all my cold weather gear home. One large box stuffed with uniform jackets, long underwear, thermal tops, etc. It's been in the 90's the last two days, so I guess winter is over.

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Wish I was over.

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89 days to go.

DAY 86, WET CHU!

Now these pictures may seem lame to you, but they're heaven to me. What you're looking at is a WET CHU. That means a small room with it's own bathroom. I've been upgraded!

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It took three months, but it's SO worth it. No more hiking to the shower. No more hiking in the middle of the night to take a leak. No more running out of hot water.

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I have to share the bathroom with the Colonel whose room is on the other side, but that's cool. The lawyer from Chicago had the room before me. He went home this week. The replacement lawyer is a female and didn't want to share the bathroom with the Colonel. She got a WET CHU with a private bathroom. I get the lawyer's CHU. I am once again thankful for women.

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The best part is my room is about 20 yds from my office. My commute went from 15 minutes to 15 seconds. No more sharing the roads with every Army vehicle known to man. Now, I just stroll out the door and into the next trailer.

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Life is good, errrr better.

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93 days to go.

DAY 84, $ - $$$ = TROUBLE

Sorry, but I feel I must delve into the realm of politics for one blog entry. Feel free to head to the next website of your choice. If you decide to read further, understand that this whole financial situation in the country has me perplexed.

Here’s why I have a hard time understanding the Federal Budget problem: it’s just a matter of addition and subtraction. Money in minus money out. We’re not even talking multiplication and division. Just +’s and –‘s. Surely even politicians can add and subtract.

Well, apparently not. Whether you agree with the “stimulus” package or not, can we all agree it’s a hell of a lot of money? It’s money our government does not have. If we ran a business like that, we’d be out of business – but this is exactly the solution the government proposes.

Next, we’re giving BILLIONS of dollars to Israel AND Palestine. I won’t pick sides, but again, it’s a hell of a lot of money. I’m thinking they’re using the money to kill each other, and then ask for more money so they can rebuild what they just blew up. Seems to me if we need money here at home, we shouldn’t be sending it to both sides of an ongoing killing game. I see that as endless subtraction with no addition.

How about a moratorium on ALL overseas spending until we get our own house in order? If somebody knocks on our door, we just simply reply, “Sorry, we need the money here first. We’ll get back to you in a couple years.” As Tom Joad said in The Grapes of Wrath, “Times are tough.” Don’t even get me started on the colossal waste of the last 6 years in Iraq.

I know diplomacy is important and all, but where has 40 years of diplomacy in the Middle East gotten us? How about our Korean peninsula diplomacy? Just an annual price tag and nothing to show for it. Money going out, nothing coming in (more subtraction than addition). Seems like our best diplomacy has been a strong economy (see Japan and China).

The President said recently he will cut the annual deficit in half during his 4 years in office. He’s proud of that? He’s saying, “Even after 4 years, we’ll still be spending more money than we’re taking in.” Again, if we ran a business like that, we would be bankrupt. Yet, the Prez is proud of that plan. What about eliminating the deficit THIS year? Let’s just spend less than we take in. Remember, it’s just addition and subtraction.

Bush is not without fault, either. He pushed a tax rebate and then told us to go spend it. Sage advice. Try again.

Our defense spending is out of control. The Air Force still wants to buy F-22’s when unmanned aerial vehicles are in short supply and proven to be cheaper, safer, and . . . drum roll please. . ., MORE EFFECTIVE. Shows you that fighter pilots still control the Air Force and won’t change despite a mountain of evidence supporting change.

That’s similar to our two main political parties that won’t change despite the obvious need. The democrats still want to tax and spend and spend and spend on every social program known to man. The republicans keep talking about the need to “get power back.” Excuse me, get power back? So, the goal of the Republican Party is to have power? Surprise, surprise, a bunch of politicians worried about maintaining power rather than being PUBLIC SERVANTS. What happened to the days when our forefathers envisioned community leaders leaving their normal lives for a short period of time to serve the greater good as members of congress? That didn’t last long.

[ASIDE] If you’re still reading to this point, thank you. Send an e-mail to schumw@yahoo.com. My bet is I’ll only get one e-mail.

That leads me to my point. When are we, as a society, going to wake up and realize our two powerful political parties have failed us? We’re going down in an eerily similar fashion to Ancient Rome, but yet no one wants to acknowledge it. Political Parties are serving themselves, not the public interest. Why can’t our country see it? Are we that blind or that distracted? Or do we just not care so long as there is a McDonald's on one corner, a Starbucks on the other, and we can watch American Idol one night and the Bachelor the next?

It just doesn’t add (or subtract) up.

95 days to go.